Nothing ever goes to plan and so didn’t my blogging schedule that I had carefully crafted for my 5 week trip to Europe. Initially I managed to write a couple of posts but the last one I published was on July 25th. Shame on me! Or maybe not?
I am currently trying to analyse how and why this happened. I have to admit that the moment I genuinely allowed myself to quit writing I felt no more urgency to write about blogging. Had I at that stage come to ‘real’ relaxation? Were there so many more interesting things to do or could I just not be bothered anymore? Will I ever know and furthermore does it matter?
Funnily after having returned home for less than a week, having caught up with friends and after fighting my way through mountains of washing and sorting, I now feel that old urgency coming back. I even feel inspiration to report on this chain of events….
Guilt versus acceptance
Maybe that is how it should be – after all I was on holiday. If you are an accountant and you are off to some exotic place, you won’t take a pile of business statements to analyse. So I assume the same counts for us bloggers. Somehow it feels different though. Blogging does not feel like work so therefore there does not seem to be a reason to stop when on holiday. At least that is what I thought but reality has shown me a different story.
After a couple of weeks into my holiday I felt I no longer wanted to research and write about blogging. I basically did not feel like doing anything at all on my computer. Admittedly what did not help was the fact that internet connections were on occasions very basic or pretty much non-existent with the result that researching and publishing blog posts were not without hiccups.
Usually when I write about a certain aspect of blogging I research books, articles and other blogs and so on. I like to explore what others write and what kind of issues people come across when blogging. Having no internet access makes that side of the process rather difficult. I could have just reflected on experiencing this but instead I opted for doing nothing.
This is almost a month ago. The first week of my break was with a sense of guilt and I almost felt obliged to do something. The longer I did nothing the easier it became. I suppose that is what generally happens when people go on holiday. It takes a while to relax and to totally ‘let go’ and indulge in doing nothing. Most of us find this hard to do and find that their mind remains busy. It is bizarre but the hardest thing is to rid ourselves from that annoying feeling of accountability. The best relaxation for me is to feeling that I don’t need to do anything. But it seems that not being needed to do things is also the hardest to accept.
I don’t if it is good or bad but I find it hard to find inspiration and motivation to blog about blogging at the moment. I am on holiday and enjoying myself thoroughly. One of the things that I am very good at is letting go – something I have found out over the years. When I am on holidays I always think that I will keep on doing things such as exercise, eating healthy and maintaining habits such as writing my blog. I take magazines that have been waiting for my attention for a while or little jobs that I want to do when I have more time. I really intend to do those things…..
Well reality is that as soon as I am out of my usual routine I am capable of letting go and don’t do any of those things I intended to do. There is a little bit of guilt lingering far, far away but deep down I do not really care. It may be my way of relaxation and I am very willing to be subservient to that method.
At least I have been honest about it and have not made any promises that I am not going to keep. I have not made any deadlines and I don’t intend either. To be honest my drive and source of inspiration is on the back burner – I am on holiday at the moment and I feel rather laid back.
Maybe I should have prepared myself a little better and have several posts in draft form written, only waiting for revision. There are bloggers who do that – they have dozens of articles waiting to be published. I wish I was that organised myself but I suffer from a light case of ‘excusitis’ and blame lack of time. It takes me quite a bit of time to write the articles I publish so the luxury of preparing posts in advance seems unrealistic.
I actually did brainstorm some ideas but all I have done is written the titles. The rest of the page is empty and I feel like leaving these topics until I am back and they get the attention they deserve. It is not like when I am at home when I am waking up in the middle of the night with all kind of ideas for my blog. Here I am not waking at all at least not with ideas for blogging!
Is this bad or it this break good? I am not entirely sure about it. I am sure it may be beneficial to take a break of a week or so and give myself the chance to rest and refresh. Looking at my intention to explore ‘the road to professional blogging’ I can only say that it is part of it. This blog is about all aspects of this journey and even ‘professionals’ go on holiday.